Lessons from mom (R&M 4)

It's been a little over a year since my mom passed away. As I sat in class the other day I thought back on everything; it seems incredibly distant. So like most college kids do, instead of paying attention I started to scribble some other things. Here's what I came up with:

Things I learned from my mom.
1. Always start the day. Raise the blinds; let the sunlight hit you in the face. Breathe the air. Take a look around. Enjoy everything, the little things, the big things, in their simplicity.

2. Eat Peeps. She was a big fan of the sugary-marshmellowly goodness that is a peep. Someone inevitably would gift wrap peeps on every holiday (who knew they made Christmas peeps?). But of course it's not just about peeps. You should enjoy life. If that means you eat a peep then that's what you do. Which brings me to my next lesson...

3. Keep it simple, keep it easy. Life is complex enough. Imagine the assembly required instructions written in languages that you don't quite grasp. There's no need to make it any more difficult for yourself. Keep things simple, know what you value and what's important. And don't lose perspective.

4. Be independent but value interdependence. Growing up I was an independent kid. Both parents worked. I became very self reliant. It's been a blessing and a curse and I think explains why Kate and I dated for 8+ years. In order for me to get married I need to move into the interdependent thing. It took a while but I'm there. It's important to connect with other people, to rely on them, to depend on them. I think this was a tough lesson for my mom. She was fiercely independent. But there came a time when this was no longer an option, where her connections with others became her life.

5. How you treat others (people and animals) matters more than most anything else. The waiter, the housekeeper in the hotel, the gas station attendant. How do you interact with these folks? Are you nice? Do you say hi? Do you look them in the eye? I watched my mom for many years, her genuine way of talking with the folks. People liked her because they knew she was sincere. And she liked people. It was infectious. But it was also insightful. It tells people who you are and what you're about. And it tells people that you care about them. What's more important than that?

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There's more. Of course there's more. But it's only a three hours class.

See you on the pavement.