On being a man

Recently we had a semi-blizzard. Eighteen or so inches of the white stuff. I was home in NJ, along with my brother and father. Roads were a mess, many businesses were closed. It was clearly a day and evening to be spent indoors.

I cannot, of course, accept this fate. You see, as a man, I am required to venture out into the snow - at it's peak, no less, in white-out conditions - and drive. There's no real reason, of course. It's simply to see if I can do it. Man and machine, confronting the elements. Oh and look - tire tracks! Likely from some other man who passed through this road earlier on the same quest for manly validation. Clearly the best course of action would be to place my tires in the aforementioned tracks in the road. Unacceptable. I blaze my own path, righteous in my manliness. And when drifts of snow are available, I actually swerve into them. There's actually a part of me that wants to get stuck, simply to see if I can get unstuck, using the classic (and very manly) ninestep process:

(1) Put car in 1st gear.
(2) Press accelerator to the floor; where possible, press accelerator through the floor
(3) Quickly slam car into reverse
(4) Repeat step two
(5) Repeat all steps until unstuck
(6) Under no circumstances should anyone be called or notified of being stuck
(7) Once unstuck, assuming that is the outcome (if not, go to step 9), brag incessently about the conditions and the peril involved in getting unstuck
(8) Under no circumstances admit that you were the cause of getting stuck
(9) If you can't get unstuck, I can't help you. You see, getting unstuck is part of the manly coursework; it's one of those rites of passage that national geographic is always talking about.

Ok rewind. Before I go out, I need a reason. I can't simply claim 'manly validation' and have peole nod in understanding. While home, you must understand, my 31 years are reduced by to about 18. The hurdle is my father.

Food. That's it. Food. He can get behind that reason. Heck anybody can support food. It is, after all, one of those primal needs found in all humans. Yes but what food establishment would be open when there's a foot and half already down with more falling? Chinese! Awesome. Bo-Bo Kitchen is always open. Nothing stops these Iron-Chefs. They rock and their chinese food is the best, period. Ok, good. But a solo flight is unlikely to get approval. Brother! Yes, that's it. I'll ask Alan. He agrees without hesitation; doesn't even bat an eye. He gets it; he knows.

Giddy, we present the plan. No good. Neither of us are surprised. But there is strength in numbers and much to our father's displeasure, we push forward and assert our need for Chinese food, right then and there, in the middle of a storm that has crippled several states. And so out we go. During our quest for pork fried rice, we decide a movie would do famously. Detour to west coast video (or some other dvd mega mart that I can't quite recall). Open! Score! Movie selection: sponge bob square pants or Anacondas part 19. We leave, despondent.

But no worries, Chinese food is near. We didn't even order ahead. That's living on the edge. We arrive and the place is hopping! Well, as much as a place with two booths and a small table can hop. But man that kitchen is fired up, the woks are glowing red. The aromas of Asian cuisine permeates everything. There's no other smell quite like a Chinese restaurant. It's intoxicating. Arriving home after a successful journey. Bro and I chat about about mom and other things. A good trip. Safe. Fun. Manly.

And the Chinese food was excellent.