Always read the signs

I urinated in the ladies room tonight.

Ok it's not that simple. I know I try to be all deep and thoughtful in my writing here on this site. But tonight just needs to be recorded. No it's not deep. Or thoughtful. But it is pretty darn funny.
So I'm at the Wachovia Center watching Sarah Brightman. Never heard of her. Nice pipes. It was Kate's idea. Anyway, at the end of the 2.5 hour show, most humans must visit the facilities. I was one of them. As we're walking toward the exit, I notice the 'women' sign, adorned with the lady in the skirt so as not to be confusing. I continue walking, assuming, as many would, that the next sign would indicate men. I rounded a bend and saw 'men.' What I didn't see were the letters 'WO' in front of the 'MEN.' Oddly, neither did Kate.

So in I go. First thing I notice is that every stall door - except one - is closed. And there's not a soul standing at the sinks, washing their hands, checking their look in the mirror. No one. Second thing I notice: no urinals. Odd. Not completely strange but certainly out of the norm. So I walk the length of the restroom til I arrive at the other entrance / exit (which just so happens to be the first entrance I saw with the 'women' sign adorned with the skirted figure. I, of course, was oblivious to all of this). After walking the length of the restroom, and finding no urinals, I decided this must be a stall-only type place. Now granted, I've not encountered one of these stall-only places for men before. I did find it strange. But apparently not strange enough to leave. I return to the first stall - still the only unoccupied stall - and proceed to do my business. Being male, and being in the military, I find it wholly unnecessary to close the stall door when all I'm doing is urinating. Thus, the stall door stays open and I proceed. During the event, I begin thinking - actually I think what I was doing is piecing together all the clues, looking at them as one picture, rather than individual pieces.

Towards the end of my business I start to become quite concerned that I am in fact in the ladies room. Just about finished now. I turn around. Two ladies. Right there. Large as life. Looking right at me. Very nice of me to have left the stall door open. I know I said something. I really don't recall but I'm certain it was nothing brilliant. I zip. Turn around and walk out. I pause at the entrance and look to my right. Sure enough: 'women' with the skirted figure. And there's Kate. It finally hits her - the whole thing. She is positively hysterical. I've never seen anyone laugh that hard for so long; she actually had to stop and sit down in the parking lot to continue her fit. I, of course, joined in once I was clear of the police that, luckily for me, were standing right there as I, a male, left the female facilities. Fortunately, I was not cuffed. Or night-sticked. The few ladies that realized my error - and it was obviously an error as evidenced by my mortified expression and the fact that I wasn't looking up stalls - found the entire thing to be quite amusing as well. Glad I could assist with their entertainment.

By the way, the concert was decent.